Better or Worse Than A Floating Turd?

Geebus. That picture gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Brrrr. Why am I itching all over all of a sudden?

Suck It, MS Word

Google is turning out to be quite the nifty shopper.

Writely has been relaunched by Google as a free online word processor, which promises MS Word functionality, tag organization, PDF output, online collaboration.

An interesting function, is that you can directly post to your blog from Writely. Seeing as I don't blog too much, the impact is lost on me. I'm more interested in the portability of this little site, along with the ability to write PDF's.

It has also been reported that other functions include or involve unicorns and faeries and glitter sandwiches. That is yet to be verified, but with Google, you never know.

It's An Asian InvAsian!

"Sky News' Crime Correspondent Martin Brunt said he had been told the threat was imminent and those arrested were mainly young, British-born Asian men."

I am sorry, but 'Asian' Men' doesn't really accurately describe what is going on in the UK right now. Put the public on the lookout for Asian men. That's helpful. Just track the dumpling trail, it'll lead you straight to your missing UK Bombers. If you can get past the Ninjas, that is.

Are You Farking KIDDING ME?!?

The death of Garfield?

This is probably one of the most jarring Garfield comic strip series that I have ever read. It is a flash movie, so be prepared to read and absorb as much as you can while it flashes by. Here is the Wikipedia entry.

Seriously. Goosebumps everywhere. Ugh. Thanks, BoingBoing. You *sure* made my day!

[via Boing Boing]

To Do (Now, Fortified with Links!)

1. Haircut - While browsing through the Wikis, I came across this great article about Mullets. Leave it to Wikipedia to give mullets a scholarly analysis:
   

   The Mullet in various languages and cultures:
   

   • The Argentinian term is Cubano, in reference to the alleged popularity of the haircut among Cubans.
   • The Brazilian term is Chitãozinho e Xororó, in reference to the singers who started using this haircut in Brazil.
   • The Chilean term is chocopanda in reference to the ubiquitous public transportation Chocolito Panda ice-cream sellers wearing such haircut. It is also called a "Zamorano", after Iván Zamorano.

   [#]



2. Passport Renewal - I am renewing my passport and as such, I need two passport photos. Here is a great tutorial for U.S. Passport picture requirements, which can be tweaked for a Philippine passport picture. The passport picture requirement for the Philippine passport is 1.77" x 1.37", while the U.S. passport requirement is 2" x 2".


3. Web Design and Development - Get your creative juices flowing, refresh your knowledge of various CSS-ery and html badassedness, and get crackin'.


4. Car-ma Car-meleon - Oy. Cleaning out the car can be a pain in the ass, especially in this Houston heat. Good thing the internets are telling me it's going to a smiley time all around. Oh. And wear sunscreen.
   

Filipino Lesson: Nananakam

Nananakam means "craving" in Filipino. You don't really need it, it's impractical to get it, there's really not a whole lot of it around you, but you want it anyways. You won't starve, but any other substitute doesn't really quite cut it. Pregnant women (as opposed to, you know, pregnant men. Really, isn't that a bit redundant?) crave too, but there's a different word for that. This word can be used to describe anyone who's just hungry for something specific.

The point of this post, and I do have one, is to assemble a list of Filipino foods that I crave, that is not readily available and mostly because I'm too lazy to make them. A five food item wishlist that I would like to have at my disposal, as easy as I could get to it back home.

1. Halo-halo - Literally translated: Mix-Mix. It's a tedious process, and the ingredients are a bit hard to come by. I crave it so much, I made a Wikihow out of it. Sad? Yes.
2. Green Mangoes with Salted Shrimp Paste - Sour green mangoes that snap when you bite into it, topped with a salted shrimp paste called bagoong alamang. I haven't seen green mangoes sold here in the States the U.S.. Believe it or not, alamang is actually easier to come by than the green mangoes here.
3. Talangka - I suppose crawfish is to lobster as talangka is to snow crab. It is a small crustacean that looks like a regular snow crab. Except it's about 1/4th the size of a crab. You boil it, or cook it in coconut milk. There's not a whole lot of meat, but there's that delicious, orange tinted fat that clings to the cap after popping it off. And the underbelly shell is soft, you can literally grab it by the legs, snap it in half and eat all of it but the legs and the hardshell cap.
4. Sansrival and Sylvannas - Both buttery confections that tastes almost the same. It's sweet merengue, covered in buttercream icing, then covered with ladyfinger crumbs, served cold. Sansrival is the cake version, with extra nuts, while sylvannas are more like coffee cakes. I made some sylvannas before, and it tastes the same, except my buttercream icing turned out runny. I blame the lack of a candy thermometer for that little fiasco.
   
5. SISIG! - Pig cheeks, chopped into tiny pieces, sauteed in garlic, onion and premature puppies. I think soy sauce is added just for color, but it is just the best. Served in a hot sizzling plate, with the sizzling oils splattering all over your clothes and your face. Condiments are encouraged: soy sauce with calamansi.

So there you go. Top five things I am craving right now.

P.S. Just kidding about the puppies, are you insane?!?

So Here's Something Scary

(UPI) Study: Earth changed after Sumatra quake

"The earthquake changed the gravity in that part of the world in two ways that we were able to detect," said Shin-Chan Han, a research scientist at Ohio State University. He and colleagues determined the quake triggered the massive uplift of the seafloor, changing the geometry of the region and altering previous global positioning satellite measurements of the area. And the density of the rock beneath the seafloor shifted, producing detectable gravity changes.

Doesn't that just make you feel "lighter"?

So, How Come No One Told Me Frasier Was So Damned Funny?

I've been watching reruns of Frasier on Lifetime. (Yes, Lifetime. You know what, you don't even know. So shut up.) (And besides, it's no longer Television for Women. It's My Story on Lifetime. So it could be my story, you know.) (Are you going to let me finish? ... Okay then.)

I have always been under the impression that Frasier has this hoity-toity humor that I wouldn't really appreciate. Not that I'm a low brow kinda guy. I have very high brows, thank you very much. So high, if fact, that everyone comments on my small forehead. Good thing I'm balding so it sort of augments that. Like Frasier!

Anyway, Frasier. I can honestly say there hasn't been an episode where I tried to stifle a burst of laughter and succeeded. The writing is just crisp and perfect, and the actors fit their characters to a T. Most of the episodes revolve around the strong ensemble cast. There hasn't been a huge trend of stunt casting. So far, Madonna hasn't put in an appearance yet. Hopefully she never does. Look, I have nothing against Madonna, but girlfriend can't act her way out of a condom paper bag.

Tonight's Episodes: Frasier is interviewed by a bunch of snotty teenagers on live radio. Ambushed on air, Frasier resorts to using dirt on them. Good times. The next one, Niles proposes to Daphne. Between the gay jokes about Frasier and Niles, to Marty fake admitting that he has erectile dysfunction, the jokes just wrote themselves. Bonus: Wolfgang Puck!

Notice, The New Addition To The Sidebar (*updated*)

I'm currently reading Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. It's a fascinating read. It tells the story of the human cadaver; the left over shell of our former selves when we die. It details the "adventures" that a cadaver goes through after death.

Now it all sounds yucky, and sometimes it is, but there's it's never disrespectful and the tone is always light without being irreverent. Good read so far.

I found that since I haven't been reading as voraciously as I did when I was younger, my comprehension skills (while always in depth and thoughtful) are a little bit rusty. I don't really expect to finish this book for a while, mostly because the only few times I actually get to read for leisure is in the can. Which doesn't mean I'm not regular. Because I am.

Ehem.

I believe we can file this post under the Too Much Information file.

*update: I switched to Blogger Beta and my template was wiped out. The sidebar content's gone. Be posting it again soon.

What The... Huh?

Oookayyy...

It's a guy in a suit, painting a naked fat guy, while on a treadmill. Seriously. I... I don't really get it. Sheer brilliance? Maybe it's so sheer, it's almost transparent. That's it.

What I like about this guy is how he's a good sport about the phone calls that he gets live on the air. God bless him, he's trying.

Get the videos here.

Alt+Tab! Alt+Tab!

If you're tired of being productive at work, then workFRIENDLY.net could be the website that you need. It brings up a Microsoft Word-looking window and reformats the website to look like a document. It looks pretty convincing actually.

Related:

• Ghostzilla

Ewscray Igpay Atinlay

Vincent Cheung came up with a clever way to encrypt a blog post that can only be decrypted by a Javascript key. This is a fantastic way to give your pals a wink and a nudge while keeping your blog accessible to all.

Writes Vincent Cheung:

The encrypted text is secure as long as you keep the key secret. The key is like a super-ultra secure password. You can use the same key over and over for multiple encryptions (so you don't have to remember/store multiple keys). If you want select people to see the encrypted text, you can give them the key. You may want to use a set of keys, one for super private, one for the gf, one for close friends, etc.

He also cautions that this should not be used for nefarious or illegal purposes. Honor system, guys. Honor system.

Related:

• Confessions of a Thirty Two Year Old Drama Queen
  

iNough with the iStuff *Updated*

Whoop-dee-do. Another iPod accessory named iSoundCap. It tucks your iPod Shuffle neatly in the cap, and you can also stuff the earphone wires, leaving just enough dangl-age for your ears.

For $29.95, now you can iListen to your iPod getting iFried in 102 degree weather or get iSoaked in iSweat. Also available for iPod Nano.

*Update: Oh for god's sake.

Why Can't I Sleep

It's odd that I stumbled upon this just as I was about to post my issues with sleeping.

Odd thing about my sleeping non-pattern. It seems I can't go to bed when I'm happy or in a generally good mood. When I'm in a bad mood, or pondering a problem or just have a lot going on in my mind, I go to bed almost immediately. Problems, most of the time, do not keep me awake. Weird.

8) remember mind-body balancing. Lying in bed, starting from your legs and moving up to your head, tense your muscles one at a time, then release. Your body will feel more relaxed, like a rubber band after it’s been stretched.

9) try soothing alternate-nostril breathing. Exhale through one nostril, using your fingers to close the opposite nostril. Breathe in and out; then switch back and forth.

Check out their website if you, like me, have tried to slip into a normal sleeping pattern, but ended up at Denny's at 3 o' clock in the morning, having pancakes for breakfast.

Hmm... another mystery solved. No wonder I gained so much weight.

Why Should I Care About Mel Gibson?

Mel Gibson was arrested this week for driving under the influence. Mel Gibson was agitated and started throwing out slurs against the Jews. So to wit, Mel Gibson: drunk like a fish, and Jew hater.

Apparently, he threatened to use up all of his money to go after the cop and then asked him if the cop's Jewish.

Perhaps more importantly, is why is this drivel occupying my RSS feeds. Mel Gibson: Slurry After DUI. Far from sober, and apparently raised by Hitler himself. Big deal. Seriously. Why care about him?

A lot of people who are expressing outrage and shock (shock! I tell ya.) are mostly surprised that they find themselves on the same boat as Mel Gibson with the Jew hating. Timing really is an actor's best friend, what with the HezRaeli conflict and all.

Crazy world. If I wasn't living in it, it would look funny to me.

*note: Yes, yes, it's a hotlinked image. Blogger's picture upload is acting all wonky, as soon as everything settles down with blogger, I will replace it. I hope you don't break the servers, you four people browsing my blog.